Category Archives: In Theatres

Free Birds (C-)

Free Birds is like a trip to Chuck E. Cheese: a noisy, expensive way to blow two hours with your kids that will leave you feeling tired, addled and dazed, wondering: “I paid for that?”   Read ahead for why I’m … Continue reading

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Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2 (C+)

Steve Jobs as the New Darth Vader I know what you’re thinking: what soppy, manic movie will teach my kids to fear techie, capitalist Steve Jobs-style icons and their geeky, hipster minions??  Okay, maybe you weren’t thinking that, but Cloudy … Continue reading

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Planes (B-)

The tagline for this Pixar knockoff is “Planes: From the World Above Cars.”  Instead, it should be “Planes: Open Your Wallet.”  Originally intended as straight-to-video fare, Planes is a slick, 90-minute commercial for Disney’s new line of toy planes.  After … Continue reading

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The Smurfs 2 (D)

This movie is a steaming pile of smurf.   Parents, I understand the temptation to go see this dreck.  It’s summer, and this flick seems like an easy way to murder a few hours while boosting your own popularity with … Continue reading

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Turbo (C-)

If you want to reinforce your kid’s sense of entitlement, Turbo is the movie for you.  Derivative and bland, Turbo teaches kids that if you can dream it, you can and SHOULD have it. 

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Despicable Me 2 (C+)

Despicable Me 2 is like cotton candy.  Give it to your kids once or twice, but DO NOT buy it and keep it readily available at home.  See it at the theater if you must (or better yet, rent it), … Continue reading

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Monsters University (B+)

Let’s not kid ourselves.  YOU ARE GOING TO SEE THIS MOVIE.  Unless your kids live under a rock, they are already dying to see it and buy the oodles of merchandise it will generate.  And that’s a good thing because … Continue reading

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